Incomplete Separation of States



You’re in your local café, you say hello to the barista, make a little small talk but it’s hard to hear over the loud music.

You can see a few of the other regulars, they’re drinking large ones; you know it’s not there first.

You take a quick glance around at the newcomers, you’ve got your routine, but patience is key.

Some guy comes up to you and asks you for a cigarette, he reeks of coffee. You can tell he’s been drinking for a few hours. You don’t have one to give him.

You take a seat in your favourite corner, some girls by the counter doing espressos, one of them can’t handle their drink and legs it towards the bathroom. The remaining ones chase the shot with some unnecessarily sweet, girly coffee. You’re not even sure they’re eighteen.

You get a call but you know not to answer, instead, you go to where you know the caller will be. The exchange is brief, not formal; this man is not your friend, he does business. You pick up the two small packages. One for now, one for later.

The coffee has made you over-zealous, so you take one immediately.

You feel yours eyes widening. Any thought of work in the next few hours leaves your mind.

You return and the barista serves you another coffee.

On the way back to your seat, your favourite song comes on.

It tugs you from inside to the dance floor.

The music escalates as your heart begins to pulse through your entire body in time with the beat.

You dance like nobody is there, reaching and kicking left and forwards until the lights you see are simultaneously in front and behind your eyelids.

You’re not sure how space exists around you, but it does.

You don’t even drink coffee.



complete separation of states

Foreword: I’m on caffeine. I feel that it’s relevant to say so. I don’t drink too much coffee these days. I’m a tea man, you see. And since being here I feel like my tongue isn’t big enough to taste all these eastern blends. I’ll take it one step at a time. Alphabetical perhaps: black, green, oolong, red then white. Ah, hold up a second, how do a alphabetise 中国绿茶?Oh, almost forgot. That’s why I’m drinking coffee today.

Okay, so I’ve just exhausted my vocabulary on a foreword that isn’t what I wanted to write about, but I suspect it may relevant to the topic. Hear me out.

More and more recently, I feel my life exists separate to reality. Right now, for instance, I’m in the library on campus, on a public holiday. Based on current trends its seems that they are the only days I spend here. I certainly don’t visit this windowless dungeon as part of my normal routine. But the extended Easter/Qing Ming Festival (aka Chinese Ancestor’s Day) holiday has seen me visiting the library 5 out of the last 6 (working) days and producing some 5000 words. I’ve outdone myself, truly. You can compliment me in the comment section.

All this work, has helped me to understand the value of days off. I have a friend, who shall remain nameless, that recognises this fact for a different reason, vis a vis partying so hard last Friday that they didn’t wake up until Sunday. That, however, is a story for another day. That’s not to say its irrelevant to my point.

Everything that is happening has a unique individual domain that I cannot reconcile in my head. Things that are happening now or which have happened at one stage or another seem weirdly ridiculous and effectively impossible when side by side, like alternative universes that I somehow transcend with alcohol or caffeine or by library card. How many persons can one people be? (Without needing to see a doctor, that is.)

The only thing that these people and universes have in common is that they exist together right here in the form of a written hyperbole of my life that can’t really be that interesting. Can it?

I’m not sure how the ‘tea’ metaphor was relevant to my tale. Take from it what you will.