Ganesha just looked me straight in the eye.  He didn’t say a word, but I knew what it meant. His stationary arms had as many realms of meaning as degrees of freedom.

I was reminded that I have no idea what I’m doing. It was the way that I started and intended to run this blog, but I’ve been distracted. Alcohol, music, cigarettes, adventures, this vice and that. They’ve kept me in an alternate area of my mind. I had blocked out most of reality for most of the time since August 2011. But the leak of reality is very real and it’s growing.

Where I’d rather be is known to many, only a little guilt and part of a degree is holding me back. It could very well be the greatest form of procrastination. Generally speaking, I hold off preparation of exams or commencement of any additional task. Maybe that’s what I’m trying to do with my life now.

I’ve always supposed that I would end up here. The Australian lifestyle is a place I could see myself, perfect environment for a wife and kids. But, for now, it is killing me.

I think its the so-called complacency; I have a family here. Nothing needs to work out; I have a space to fall back on if shit’s fucked. Overseas there was nothing; I could do something… anything; or be a lonely cunt for the entire duration; or worse, learn nothing.

But I did, so now I know, and it’s not that I regret it, because the equivalent of these experiences could never be lived over, but maybe I should have done it later. To save me from these potentially agonising 21 more months that are require for me to be an uninteresting professional civil engineer.

Good night.

Love in Taiwan

So why do I do this to myself? I’ve done it not once but twice. You might think that that would make it easier to handle, tackling any event should be easier the second time around, but it’s not. I know what to expect, and I know it will be terribly sad and that there’s nothing I can do. But that’s the price to pay to meet these amazing people.

Pixie and Lilian kindly put together a scrapbook for me before I left Taiwan, I’m on a plane now and I just recently worked up the courage to read it, instead of just skimming over, my mainly drunken, pictures. The result: I’m truly touched. I could never imagine that my friendship means as much to so many people, as their’s does to me.

Takuma: 難道你一天比一天帥？哈哈。 謝謝你在我書寫了。你說對，我們都還年輕， 我們生活的機會不少，我希望我們的將來都有機會在見面！

Jan: Dude, I know the others don’t understand engineers sometimes so I’m glad we became friends, my only regret is that I ever bought you a Smirnoff Ice. It will be forgiven but not forgotten.

Melvo: After being in Taiwan for this long, I now know more than ever that The USA is the greatest! I’ll be there someday, but if you want to catch up in Australia before, I’m fine with that too.

Zach: I’m glad you took something from my endless ramblings, my only hope is you can share them with some other naive young lad, in case he’s having trouble getting out of it.

Masako: Thanks to you, I now know what true Japanese food tastes like, we definitely should have cooked a little more, but each was great from the first sushi to the last feast.

Shinochan: 不好意思，我要説明我的臉。其實我不常生氣了，可是我很喜歡吃魚啊！哈哈。 我真的等不及跟你說英文，所以如果你有澳洲留學機會的話， 我們不能說中文。 Is that okay with you?

有芳： 我覺得臺灣有很多好玩的朋友， 可能找得不容易， 可是師大每個學期有新的學生，應該找得到新澳洲的朋友們！

Phil: Wait?! You feel sorry for yourself? God… Dammit… I guess in the end we realised we were so alike that we couldn’t learn anything of each other, so we scrapped that and had fun instead and I’m glad we did. Remember, You wanna make this plane? You’ve gotta run like a man! Get your knees up!

Kazumi: 難道Tequila在臺灣一邊是我最大的問題一邊是我最喜歡的飲料？哈哈。 我等不及回來臺灣一起去MiCasa！

Gamy: The first time I heard your deep mellow soothing voice was like listening to a very large bird sing. I look forward to seeing photos of all the new people you’ll certainly meet in Taipei, I’ll be following your blog.

Keith: I also remember not remembering our interesting conversation, so I can’t really affect your campaign, no matter how much money the media offers me. Your signature is also acceptabe for a president, keep that in mind.

Asher: My best 同學， I’m feeling a little sick now on the plane, i’m concerned its that N1H#3JD virus, that 高老師 keeps mentioning. Hope things go smoothly at 文大. I hope the next time we meet we’ll be playing Israeli or Australia Monopoly Deal.

Pixie: I cannot thank you enough: this book, resorts in Kending, train tickets, boat parties, landlords and landladies. I wish I could help you out in the same way but your English is too good, if I even come close to the same level of Chinese I will be a very happy chap. Thanks again.

Lilian: LOL, what are you even laughing at, like. I’m still skeptical that your an engineer, all I know is you mentioned a few chemicals a few times. Good luck with your Masters, I really hope I never do graduate, might go back to 師大 for the rest of my life.

Trett: Thanks, for sparing me a certain image of you that I know is pasted in Alex’s book. I always enjoy our conversations about films, so if you have any suggestions send me an email, Australia can hear the internet now too.

Frances: That’s a little bit of a low blow, isn’t it?! How much further could I get out of way than by going back to Australia? Haha, I’ll be working on my singing skills for the next time.

Shannon: It has been nice to meet you! I’ve forgotten just as much English while I’ve been in Taiwan, but that’s okay. I hope you can find some roommates as nice at Paul and Masako after she leaves.

Albee: Thanks for your little message, I just managed to read it on the plane, I think your English improved a lot, even in the short time I knew you! Good luck with wherever you choose to study abroad, it’s an unbelievably amazing experience.

Anna: I’m yet to understand your Japanese massage, but I know you’ll do better with my English because we both now that 我的中文不夠！哈哈。 I can’t say how grateful I am that you were my friend in Taiwan, it’s certainly been the most memorable and happy part. You are welcome to come to Australia whenever you like. (You can ask Paul if you don’t understand something because I am going to, haha!)

Alex: You message blew me away man, now I can understand why you didn’t want me to write in your book, I guess your not one to put in half effort, except for maybe this last week of class, haha. Thank you for the single most amazing experience of my life. Maybe not as memorable as driving through Russia, but infinitely more survivable. I know we had our disagreements, I’m a dickhead and I’m always right, except for The Walled City, but thanks for hanging in there with me. I remember considering going home last May, I was sick and whinging, but you convinced me to stay and I’m eternally grateful. I will see you somewhere along the east coast. Love.

大家： 非常高興認識你們！真的網不了我臺灣的經驗，我們應該五年以後再去Revolver喝酒。

TO EVERYONE: I’ll never forget the experiences I’ve had in Taiwan, and all my friends that have been a part of it. You are all welcome to come and visit Australia, but no matter where, I hope that we can meet again!

Love Gage.

Photo courtesy of Gamy Wong (www.facebook.com/gamywong)

taipei art cinema 2

I can just see the top of 101.

It probably doesn’t mean that much. On a clear night like this, for most, it is probably just a few steps away, too the nearest corner or balcony, to admire the view. For others it might be in their peripherals, as a subconscious reminder of where they are.

The soundtrack changes, beating basketballs and cicadas in the grass become the stereo sound akin to any art house film. Tires and feet on the path move in and out of my wall of listen. Arrhythmic segments morphing as the gears, of two bikes side by side, move back and forth.

My shadow creeps along the grass; the blades, slicing and intercepting at any movement. Yet, I stay in tact. As I reach the bridge, I notice the perpendicular gurgling of flowing water and engines clash.

On the far side of the river a million lives stare back at my from windows, they can see 101 as well, but their music is different. The water and engines of the abode are harmonious. Controllable. The washing machine combines the water and mechanics like only a machine could. To them, the rigidity is calming. To me, intimidating. It’s a mere compensation.

Is this life an art house film?

Maybe it’s not important.

I can still see the top of 101.

新年快樂，恭喜發財。

taipei art cinema

When it rains in Taipei my life becomes an Art-house film. All the colour disappears. The soft pitter-patter on my umbrella is the soundtrack. Everyone relates to the monotony.

I’m in a classroom,
I’m on a train,
I’m in a house.

Staring blankly at a screen, trying with increased difficulty to find a combination of pixels that amuses me. I do this every five seconds. The keyboard is cold. I have no use for it, my input is unremarkable. I only watch.

I’m everything, but
I’m nothing,
I am the only character.

Occasionally, I’ll speak. The people around me steal a glance. The bridge to their understanding barely exists, it is merely a tightrope over a canyon. Their smirks are ambiguous. I’m unsure whether to be embarrassed or bask in the momentary attention. I do neither.

I’m eating lunch,
I’m drinking a drink,
Smoking a cigarette.

With a rushed pat over my pockets, I discover I have no lighter. I borrow one from a passing man. Before I finish, he begins walking.
“等一下，你的打火機!”
He glances back for a second,
“送給你,”
“真的嗎?”
He leaves without another word. I ponder. Maybe his life is also an Art-house film.

I’m on an escalator,
I’m on a street,
I’m on a toilet.

My vulnerable self is exposed. This state of semi-nakedness being, somehow, more revealing. With no smart phone, I can only sit and think. I hear the rain falling outside.

The End.

the other end of the island. part 1

The train ride was bleak, fast but bleak.

The speed may have outweighed the bleakness. I’m not entirely sure, but it did create a strange effect; the blanket of clouds that led all the way to Mountains appeared to continuously warp with an ever changing perspective.

Maybe I wasn’t on a train at all. Maybe I was dreaming.

Because when I woke up it had changed.

Apparently, ninety minutes at three-hundred kilometres per hour can change the temperature by about ten degrees Celsius.

I was very glad that I had packed my speedos.

While my perception of accommodation may have been skewed by the length of tme I’ve resided in Asia as a student, the room was nice.

As were 66.7% (1dp) of my room-mates.

Titans of the beach volleyball world collided, the match betwee Meiguo Coalition v. Team Aoben was truly a doozy.

In the end we all had fun.

So everybody won.

Stay tuned for Part 2.

escalator art

danshui

A recent eve, while enjoying a paper pot of Danshui’s regional speciality, Agae, an overly large piece of quiet plain tofu cut, filled and sealed with noodles, served in perfect harmony with an unnamed red sauce not dissimilar in texture and colour but quite unlike the taste of ketchup, I was suddenly distracted.

It only took a second, but that’s all it takes, or rather, that’s all a Dragon needs to grab your attention when cruising about just over your head while trying to eat your friends.

Not too soon after, I would find out that, indeed, they were not eaten, but they disappeared so suddenly it seemed to be the safest assumption.

It could have been two minutes or two seconds later, its difficult to tell, apparently time slows when you lock eyes with the mythical beast, but nevertheless I was now alone.

To make matters worse, or at least more interesting, my phone buzzed and flashed its last flash and buzz of life before dying on me.

More fortunately, my camera, while fading fast, maintained a lick of life.

It understood, that if nothing else could make it back, people could piece together my final hours, with the fragments of my digital self, conveniently formatted for SD.

This newly found situation instilled me with a combination of nervous excitement and unexpected freedom.

I would have to go solo, after all, I had no choice.

Most events after that were a blur. I failed to remember where I was twenty minutes before, or where, potentially, I could be after when the next third of an hour elapses.

Exactly one-hundred and fifty metres up the road, I vaguely recall stumbling across the golden arches, A good check point, I thought to myself.

Previous expeditions had taught me to consider that much.

About one-hundred and fifty metres farther down, tremendous bangs that vibrated the earth, like thunderclaps in the pavement, drew me in.

Before a fizzle and consecutive flashes of light blinded me, and reminded me of a giant mobile phone that was running out of battery.

Such a terror I have not felt before.

So I ran as well. I ran through the park and past the giant colourful men, with unnecessarily long black beards.

Until a familiar face was revealed.

Then two.

Then a dozen.

Then I woke up.

chiang kai shek

Most of my previous Taipei outings were under the cover of darkness. Not by choice, but because of my ridiculous sleeping pattern.

Today, I’m awake and it’s still light outside. I wonder if Taipei looks different in the sunlight?

two days

24/08/2012: Typhoon warning has been issued.

Great, a solid excuse to sit in my room for the duration of the semesterly break, for fear of drowning while waiting for a bus. An event that while still unverified, lingers in the back of my mind.

Initial plans were disrupted, if you could call them plans, they aren’t my forte after all. But, thanks mainly to Paul, we managed to scrape together a couple of days to see a different part of Taiwan not a great distance from the city.

We lit lanterns and bit bees.

烏來

平溪

十分

taiwanese home cooked meal

It was agreed between Alex and I that we should brush up on our Taiwanese dining etiquette, or rather, should have brushed up as we stood in our Taiwanese friend’s mother’s kitchen attempting not to butcher any task that was presented to us, aside from the Chicken, a real butcher saw to that, I assume.

But I guess by that stage we could also assume that, perhaps, this wasn’t very typical to invite two gweilo’s, who both cannot and have not cooked, for lack of facilities and motivation, to your place to help make the food from a country where they struggle to even order the basics.

But it was great.

No thanks to myself.